Well...

I got accepted to Biola. A month or so ago, I would be thrilled out of my mind. Now, I'm pretty sure it's not an option for me anymore.

I almost wish the two choices I have to decide between were more legit. Like, "Should I be a missionary or a pastor? Is my passion for sex-trafficking or gangs in the inner city? Will I open my own orphanage or take in tons of foster kids?"

Nope. For some reason I'm not wired that way. God hasn't really given me a passion for any of those (although maybe later in life the foster kid thing may kick in but we'll see). Instead, it's film or interior design? Neither seem like very "Christian-y" jobs, especially compared to the others.

I know this is the wrong outlook on my situation, though. God can use me wherever and my mission field may be in the film industry or the interior design business. Or I could combine them and make my mission field in the set designer world.

In all honesty, I'm leaning more towards interior design. I love film but I'm not sure if that's the path for me, unless I can become a set designer.

Too bad Biola doesn't have an interior design program. Plus, it's way expensive. More so than CCU and I wouldn't get as good of a scholarship there. I know God can provide if that is really the place for me but he hasn't yet. Maybe that's a sign that I belong elsewhere.

So I'm considering CSU. It still scares me to death, maybe even more so than Biola. It's a state school and that terrifies me. What if I get lost in the shuffle? How would I find amazing friends coming in my junior year? Who would I live with?

God, I know you're in control. Help me to trust you and know what you want me to do next semester. I'm waiting. Please show me.